Who Is The Real Hero?
Last week, actor Joel Grey was in the news discussing his life as a gay man. He was in the forefront from USA Today to People Magazine. His fellow actors in show business were commending his courage. Of course, he said he didn't like to be "labeled" as "gay," but if he had to pick a word, okay--gay.
This is another example of how distorted the world is when it comes to straight wives. Why is a gay man who took up decades of our lives considered a hero? Why isn't the straight wife who spent all of these years living her husband's lie but not knowing it applauded for the courage she has? She's the one who lived a life devoted to making her husband happy but failed because he was gay. Did he ever tell her during the marriage why things weren't going as well as they could have been because he was a gay man?
Grey uses the excuse that he grew up in different times when gay was not an option. Okay, I do understand that. But guess what? Plenty of men from his generation grew up the same way, but they didn't marry and bring an unsuspecting woman into the mix. He could have remained a bachelor, but instead chose to marry and have two children even when he knew he was attracted to men. His children are happy that he can live outside of his secret for now because they've known for a while. I wonder how long his wife has known?
Men who come out publicly are not nearly as brave as their wives who wondered through the whole marriage why they couldn't make their husbands happy. They personalized the rejection and just tried harder and harder to make something work that isn't workable. They went through their marriages with that missing puzzle piece wondering what they were doing wrong because their gay husbands weren't happy.
When is the last time you saw a straight wife on the cover of a newspaper or magazine being applauded by the general public for her bravery in enduring this kind of a marriage? Not only is the straight wife victimized by her gay husband by being in a distorted marriage, but then she has to hear how people admire...applaud...cheer for the man when he is ready to come out. Yep, something here is definitely wrong.