Thursday, November 28, 2013


Dear Straight Wives,
The holiday blues are upon us. This week is the begining of a sad/bad/weepy period for many of us. I went back a few years to 2008 to find a holiday message in my newsletters. I am sharing it with you. Love to all of you throughout this season. Remember I have support galore for anyone who needs it. All you have to do is ask! Write to me at: and I will answer you as quickly as possible. You are not alone...anymore!
Love, Bonnie


The next two months will be the worst of times for many of our women. It’s the time that so many of us dread each year—namely, the holiday lack of celebrations.  Actually, I’m not sure whose idea it was to bunch these family holidays up so closely together starting with Thanksgiving and ending nearly 8 weeks later at Valentine’s Day. I always look at this as the emotional marathon roller coaster that we all have to get through.

These particular holidays represent what so many of us had or thought we had only to find it snatched away from us like the Grinch who stole Christmas. But the Grinch only stole one day—not our lives from us.

Holidays are stressful under the best of circumstances, but when you have a wonderful marriage with a loving husband, there is a reward at the end of the rope that gathers everyone together in a loving, happy home. By contrast, many of us feel as if we have a rope around our necks when watching all the family togetherness that is thrown in our face “up-front and personal” on television, radio, movies, magazines, stores, and elsewhere.

The important thing to do is prepare for the emotional downslide. Know that you are going to hurt. Know that you are going to feel as if your life as you wanted it, planned for it, worked on it, and hoped for is gone. Indulge yourself in a pity party. I like to do that once or twice a year. By allowing myself to feel sorry for myself, it allows me to pick myself up and move forward again. You don’t have to be brave or selfless. You can feel weary and tired of picking up so many pieces along the path of obstacles that life has thrown your way. You’re entitled to feel bad about the curves that have been thrown at you--but then you have to stand up and move forward. Realize that life can turn around at the spin of a dime and your happiness will return someday. My theme song that has gotten me through the worst of life crises is “Pick Yourself Up.” The lyrics go:

Nothings impossible I have found
For when my chin is on the ground
I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again

Don't lose your confidence if you slip
Be grateful for a pleasant trip
And pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again

Work like a soul inspired till the battle of the day is won
You may be sick and tired but you'll be a man my son
Don't you remember the famous man who had to fall to rise again?
They picked themselves up, dust themselves off and started all over again

You can adjust the words to your own life, but just remember, life goes on…and often, after the fallout, it goes on much better. Go back and reread those old newsletters I wrote with stories of hope, happiness, and in many cases, new found love. And remember—I am as close as your computer. I’ll have extra chats through the holiday season for those who need support and friendship. You just have to ask!

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